Disillusioned with Style

Lately I've been feeling rather disillusioned with style, or with my own style in particular. I feel like I just don't care that much about it these days. I can attribute this partially to the fact that half the time I leave the house I know I'm going to have to change for work - I'm waitressing at a Mexican restaurant (Diablo Royale Este) this summer and our uniform is the kind of torn up band shirt you probably thought was really cool and "punk" in middle school (or maybe that was just me?), black bottoms, and beat up converse -- my hand studded pair are serving me well here at least (remember when I really wanted black converse to put studs on? Well I finally did it and lived in them all semester in London).

I'll confess I am having a little fun with this uniform because in some ways it's like I'm putting on a costume - I get to be a slightly different person at work than I usually am. I mean, I would normally never wear anything like this out of the house (I generally wear something different and change when I get there, but I'm lazy with what I wear there because I do know I'm just going to change.) I suppose I could say it helps me get into "character." And I have a lot of fun chatting with people at tables in a way I don't think I could do in any other sort of situation.

Anyway, speaking of putting on a costume - I was also just in a show, yet another thing to have to change clothes for. It was a tiny, experimental project (the show was this past Thursday and one night only) but somehow we ended up in the New York Times! If you feel inspired to read about it, please be my guest.

That's me all nice and shiny in the back with the mask on.

So this stuff has kept me pretty busy which I suppose has contributed to a lot of quick throwing together of outfits as I run out the door in the morning (I spent a lot of last week out all day bouncing from rehearsal to work and having to carry multiple "costumes" with me at all times). I never would have thought that I, the girl who almost cried when she learned her job last summer required shorts (no skirts or dresses) and closed toed shoes, would this year self-impose a summer uniform of jean shorts and a tee, or maybe a flowy blouse when I'm feeling fancier. I mean, I sometimes dress like this even when going out, and in some ways it feels great, it's nice to not care so much, but at other times I'm just getting so bored with my wardrobe and my outfits.

I do finally have a great (and comfortable!!) pair of sandals though.

However, other than these, I've been doing very little shopping this summer - trying to save money and all that - which is, of course, contributing to my boredom. It has also been DISGUSTINGLY hot and humid the past few weeks -- though it's gotten much nicer over the past couple of days -- making comfort the top priority. I guess I'm just not sure what my style is anymore, and that's ok... but I do really want to get re-inspired. Maybe going back to school will help with that? There are only 3 weeks left of my long and somewhat lazy summer after all. I return to Ithaca for my final year (scary) on August 21st and I will confess I can't wait.

In other news, I thank those of you who expressed your concern and support after my last post. My aunt was in a terrible bike accident -- no one knows exactly what happened but she went over her handlebars going very quickly down a trail on a mountain or hill. She has been out of the critical stages for a little while now, and my mom who spent about two weeks at her side is now home, but she has aphasia and has a lot to re-learn - it will be a long road. However, wearing a helmet saved her life. So please, don't be too cool and fashionable to wear a helmet. I used to think I was and didn't wear one but never again. It's sad it took something like this for me to realize how silly my vanity was, but I just bought a pretty blue helmet from nutcasehelmets.com.

If you buy one today you can enter code "OPRAH" for 30% off! (haha, thanks Oprah!)

They also have some pretty adorable printed ones but they were out of my size in my favorites and I decided maybe I should get something that will still feel appropriate for me to wear in a couple of years? Though I may very well have ended up with one of these if they hadn't been sold out of the Small/Medium:

And I fully encourage purchase of a fun, colorful and silly helmet... as long as you wear one!

This girl also hand paints some really gorgeous head-protectors but they are a bit out of my current price range.

Anyway, I don't mean to preach, but long story short: do get a cool helmet, but don't be too cool for a helmet.

Maybe (probably) I'll do another bike related post at some point, but if you want some more bike candy for the time being, check out this shop.

So I suppose that's all for now on this odd two-topic post... I'm still here, floating about, and I suppose we'll see where the rest of the summer takes me fashion-wise. I do have a bit more free time now that my show is over, and I'm only working about 3-4 days a week. Perhaps I will allow myself to shop a little? We'll see.

Oh, also I got a hair-cut that I'm not thrilled with (it's about shoulder length now) ... yet another contribution to my current fashion blasé. But I know, I know, hair will grow.

Regards,
Freddie

The Tate was Great.

Some of my favorites:

The Balka installation

Therrin: table and four chairs:


Parker: 30 pieces of Silver:


Kiefer's artist room:


Natural History Part 1 (Mushrooms) by Twombly:


The Entire City by Ernst:


Therrin's Red Room:


The Photography of Robert Frank

And SO much more!

Cheers!
Freddie

Happy New Year

Hmm, fell off the radar for a bit there again. This break I've either been very busy or very lazy haha. I'd say about half and half. It's been nice though. I do have a few outfit photos to show (though none from last night, gah! I will have to recreate it. And none in good lighting either... it gets dark so early!) but right now I think I'll do a little New Year's post with a survey I stole from my cousin which seems appropriate.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Assistant Stage Manage a show. Operate a sound board. Write a Play. Probably other things too.

2. Where did you begin 2009?
On my roof, with bubbly and my friends, yelling and complaining about how a building was blocking our view of the fireworks. haha

3. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Some of them somewhat. I did start eating better and exercising (at least some of the time) and I think I made progress on the being true to myself thing too. I also have kept up with this blog! (however intermittently). I don't know if I'll make more. I think just more of the same really, I feel like I'm headed in the right direction in a lot of areas of my life and I just wanna keep on going!

4. What was your status by Valentine's Day?
I went to a couple of mean singles appreciation day parties ;)

5. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

6. Did anyone close to you die?
no

7. Were you in school?
yep

8. What countries did you visit?
None actually. I spent all of 2009 in the US! Though I was in Switzerland right at the end of 2008 and in just 7 days I'll be headed to the UK!

9. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A person. If you know what I mean ;) hah

10. What moments from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Moving out of the house at the end of sophomore year... and moving into my apartment: especially living there alone the first week of rehearsals before classes started and unpacking during that crazy thunderstorm. A lot of things from working in the Park this summer: all our antics and hard work. The staged reading of the scene from my play because it was scary (in a good way) and such an achievement. That time when Mike called to tell me something important, haha ;)

11. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into BADA!

12. What was your biggest failure?
Maybe sleeping part-way through a rehearsal for the show I was assistant stage managing. whoops. However, it all turned out fine (and other than that incident I was a very good ASM if I do say so myself) so I'd say if that's my biggest failure I'm doing pretty well.

13. Did you have to go to the hospital?
Yep. I somehow failed to mention this previously but about a month ago, on the weekend in between the end of classes and study period I slipped/fell and hit my chin/underneath my chin on the corner of my chest of drawers and had to get thirteen stitches. Oops. It seems to be healing nicely though and since it's under my chin you don't really see the scar unless something interesting is going on above my head. Or if you're really short.

14. What was the best thing you bought?
Oh geez. Well, overall, probably my ipod touch. Fashion-wise, maybe the dooney and burke bag, or my floral tights. Though my mom kind of bought those. haha. The filson bag is also really excellent (I've been using it a bunch since Christmas) but that was also a gift. Wait... I think I got my hunter rain boots and my steve madden flats in 2009! (Super early 2009... maybe the first week of January?) So I say those! And I got my floral docs! Goodness... those too ;) haha

15. Where did most of your money go?
Er... probably Rent and food. Followed by seeing shows and on clothes and such. But not so much of the later in the second half of the year.

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting into BADA. I almost gave my friend a heart attack by running into her apartment screaming. haha. I also had a similar level of excitement about getting my internship with Shakespeare in the Park.

17. What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
hm... maybe Bruises (Chairlift). Banana Pancakes (Jack Johnson). Anything by the Weepies or Jenny Lewis. Anything from In Our Bedroom After the War (Stars). I gotta feelin' (Blacke Eyed Peas). And probably anything Lady Gaga. And of course, the Twelfth Night Soundtrack.

18. What concerts/shows did you go to?
Concerts, hmm. Girl Talk was this year. So was Stars. And I saw Jenny Lewis over the summer in the park.
As for Shows? Well, everything at Schwartz, and sort of in order: Equus, Hedda Gabbler, Guys and Dolls,
Cirque de Soliel (can't remember/figure out which show/what it was called but it was great), Exit the King, Blithe Spirit, Twelfth Night, the Bacchae, God of Carnage, Finian's Rainbow, In the Next Room or The Vibrator Play, Next to Normal. The last four were this break. I didn't do my usual reviews on here but God of Carnage was hilarious (like, peeing your pants hilarious), Finian's was very very cute, funny, bizzare, enjoyable and musical comedy esque (you know, big dance breaks, everybody's happy at the end, etc). The Vibrator Play was beyond words fantastic: hilarious, touching, poinaignt, beautiful. And Next to Normal was great too- very
moving and talk about belting! It was also fun to win two lottos in a row (in the heights for my friends and next to normal for me and another friend) ...and almost not getting my next to normal tickets because the guy thought my name was Nathaniel. haha

Also noteworthy: The Model as a Muse exhibit, and the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMa which I saw yesterday afternoon.

19. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? Happier I'd say.
II. thinner or fatter? Thinner!
III. richer or poorer? Probably poorer.
That's the way to be, right? Happy, thin, and poor? ;) haha

20. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Creative things, like sewing/knitting like I used to. Wish I had seen more shows too... but don't I always wish that?

21. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Definitely procrastinating. Also emotional eating :P

22. How will you be spending Christmas?
Next year? Honestly I haven't got a clue. I hope to be home eating my mom's homemade pesto, potato, caramelized onion and goat cheese pizza though ;)

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Hm... probably Lost, though the hasn't been going for the last 6 months or so, but is coming back very soon! Pushing Daisies, which also ended prematurely :( And Grey's Anatomy of course. I also got into FlashForward this semester. haha. Oh ABC.

24. What was the best book you read?
Hm... Shadow of the Wind was really good. Maybe that.

25. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Stars' In Our Bedroom After the War, for sure. Landon Pigg's Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop off a TV commericial, haha. Jenny Lewis. haha, basically all repeats from the previous music question.

26. What did you want and get?
An ipod touch, hunter boots, floral docs... a good bag (the filson one)... a lot of other clothing/shoes/accessories/etc. And plenty I wanted and didn't get of course too ;)
And some non-material things too... into BADA, my internship... oh, and thinner? haha

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 20, wore a crown, and moved large, heavy pieces of steel down Lafayette street. Ate sushi and cupcakes and went to sleep early.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Hmm... I don't know. I would say "a person" as I did for something else above, but for all I know that could have made it worse ;)

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Shopping my closet. Ok, and shopping actually too. :P

30. What kept you sane?
My mom and my friends. Friends especially this semester. Also, bloggers and their blogs!

31. Who did you miss?
My grandparents, friends from home while I was at school, friends from school while I was at home. Lydia (my childhood babysitter who still comes by every other Tuesday), Madison (my old cat).

32. Who was the best new person you met?
Hm, I met quite a few great new people this year. Maybe my little, Hannah :) or perhaps Kristin or Erin- new friends at school. Or almost any of the people I worked with this summer- even my bosses!

33. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Um... try not to fall on your face? haha. No, I don't know. I guess, just go for it (whatever it is) because you probably don't have as much to lose as you think you do.

34. Did you move anywhere?
Yep! Out of the KD house, back home, into my apartment in Collegetown, and then back out and home again! I'm a pro.

35. What's something you thought you would never do but did in 2009?
Perhaps asking a certain someone to coffee? haha

36. What was your best month?
Tough... I don't know, maybe May? : Slope day, finals and then a break and starting my internship.

37. Any regrets?
Hmm... nothing too much or too terrible really. :)

38. Overall, how would you rate this year?
Really pretty good.

39. What did you like most about 2009?
I don't know. Many different things at many different times of the year.

40. Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
THE SCHWARTZ CENTER. haha. And over the summer, Central Park/The Delacorte. I'm pretty sure I spent more time in those places than home.

41. Change your hairstyle?
A little bit. I got it cut a few days ago- it's a bit shorter and choppier with more layers. Nothing radical, though I did think about it. My lovely friend-twin Jessie chopped all her hair off though and it looks fabulous.

42. Get a new job?
Yep- the internship

43. Do anything embarrassing?
Um... falling on my face and having to ask my friend to take me to the emergency room to get stitches? Yep. haha.

44. Get married or divorced?
Nope.

45. Did you get sick this year?
No actually! I avoided the swine flu.

46. Start a new hobby?
Reading food blogs! And cooking too.

47. Are you happy to see 2009 go?
Neutral I'd say.

48. What are you wishing for in 2010?
Health, happiness, and success. Good parts and good people.

And how did I start 2010? Why, with my very first blogger meet-up!

Thanks to the fabulous Lynn Chen for organizing and inviting me! She is such a sweetheart. We ate lunch at Spring Street Natural Restaurant (I had the "Mayan Eggs: two eggs on a yellow corn tortilla with black beans, Monterrey Jack cheese, Guacamole, lettuce, and ranchero sauce) and we discussed acting, blogging, and New York, among other things. The other bloggers were great too- turns out Chelsea lives right in my neighborhood and Ada and I know a bunch of the same people from growing up and going to school in NYC!

When I arrived home, Urban had sent me an e-mail full of things to lust after in the new year:

Anyway, less flashbacking and reminiscing and back to some regularly scheduled programming soon. I don't know how much blogging time I'll have in London (and we have limited internet bandwidth- uh oh!) but I do hope to post about my adventures. 7 days!!

Regards,
Freddie

Wow...

You know, I never really thought I would have to deal with the negative comment thing on my little unknown place in the blog-o-sphere. It shocks me that someone would take the time to write something like that on a blog that I haven't even updated in a while and that has never had more than 6-8 comments on any post. I thought I had taken off anonymous commenting since I was getting some random spam on old posts but I guess I failed to do that. So I have now-- if you're going to say something like that at least man up to who you are -- but I'm not going to turn on comment moderation unless this becomes a problem. Anyway, I was planning a nice post for the weekend since I'm back for break and becoming a human post-finals again, woo-hoo! And- this weekend marks my one year blog anniversary! I know I haven't been very consistent with updating, but I've still kept up with this blog and it's honestly something I'm quite proud of. I write it for myself, and if people like what I write, that's great, if they don't, then too bad.

Now, to leave you with some nice things :)
I am getting this bag for Hannukah:
(yeah my family is good with surprises... haha)

{small filson field bag}

It's a good size and I think it'll be quite versatile.

I've also been lusting after these boots, especially because I need a new pair of snow boots to make it though my next Ithaca winter, but it was these or the bag and I don't really need new snow boots until next year because I'll be spending the rest of winter (post January 7th) in London, not Ithaca! :)

{pajar grip boots}

I was undecided on what color I liked (I thought red was the best but my winter jacket is green...) but I saw them in a store the other day and the brown looks much better in person ;)
But that's irrelevant for the time being anyway.

Some other pretty things:

{Silver Anthro Oxfords}


{Rodarte for Target}
(must go! Starts December 20th!)
I'm not actually that big a fan of this particular model and the accessory combos they are showing but I think a lot of the individual pieces are great.

---------

Anyway, I started this post this morning and got interrupted to go have lunch and wander about town with a friend of mine. We had a really nice time- ate in the Grand Central dining concourse (I had veggie samosa- yum!), browsed the holiday market, and ended up walking down to check out the Macy's windows, complete with crazy looking elves and interactive letter writing stations... and they talked to us... crazy o_o haha.

After we parted ways, I was completely revalidated from this morning's slight setback... a cute young Korean woman stopped me on the street. Her English wasn't great but she said she worked for a Korean fashion magazine or something like that and wanted to take "a picture of my style" ! I was all bundled up in my usual coat and hat, my black cashmere scarf, and these flats with some nice wool cabled tights. Anyway, I gave her my e-mail and blog URL so if she finds her way here: hi! - you really helped make my day :)

I had been doing some hopping from store to store to keep warm and browse and after that I went to gap kids and tried on some of the Stella McCartney pieces. I would really love the grey cashmere hoodie but I have a feeling a lot of other small adults had the same thought as well... the biggest size left was a medium (6-8)! It fit... but obviously was really tight and silly looking. I also tried on (in various sizes- there weren't a lot of XLs/XXLs left in anything...) the cashmere leggings (swoon... so comfy but so unnecessary), the grey leopard sweater dress (a large), the tulle skirt in green (which fit and looked great but is way to silly to purchase...), a party dress (really cute and pretty but too short and wide) and an interesting long-sleeve button down which I almost bought. I might actually go back for it... unless I can somehow get my hands on that hoodie. The boy's military jacket is of course also gone in any size anyone over the age of 14 could imagine fitting into, haha.


an amusing video of someone trying to squeeze into some of these looks, haha:


The BFF also got home last night -- *joy* -- and I made some cookies (snickerdoodles) to welcome him home.

{still working on my food photography... it gets dark out so early now so the light's not in my favor}

Anyway... guess this post didn't turn out so bad after all. More outfit posts soon hopefully--I'm actually somewhat unpacked now and can therefore find some clothes to wear ;)

Regards, and happy Hannukah!
Freddie

The First Snowfall

The first snowfall of the year is always magical, and while I kept telling myself I was glad it had been so unseasonably warm this winter (ie: in the low 40s) there was no denying the slight smile on my face this morning when I left the theater building and felt a little flurry, nor the even bigger grin when I looked out my window a few hours later to some real, genuine, bona-fide snow.

How could you not feel content to gaze out at this all day long? Snow falling slowly, perfectly, and beautifully. I wish the camera could capture that.

Even the garbage bags manage to look almost romantic. And I do think the reflection of my light is a rather nice touch. There's a lot more snow built up since I took these too.

It makes me want to douse myself in hot chocolate, sprinkles, and sequins and wear big puffy white gloves, winter hats and party dresses, but alas, much work is yet to be done. Somehow, I think it's going to be hard to get myself back in the mindset of writing my play... which happens to be set in a summer camp. I know in a few months I'll be eating my words (or not, seeing as I've only got two more week in Ithaca this winter: the harshest part usually comes in January and February and I'll be overseas) but honestly, right now, I choose winter.


{Silence & Noise Sequin Cardigan, Kimichi Blue bag}


{Bird-in-hand mittens, Fiddlehead mittens}


{Keiko Lynn, Libemarlene}


{?}


{Makool, Yohji Yamamoto}

And for holiday food inspiration, I'm once again drooling over tastespotting.

Alright, back to work. Or at least to trying.

Regards,
Freddoe

Featured

Life and light (it's starting to get dark early...) got in the way of an outfit photo for today. Another real post soon, promise. But for now. I'm featured on weardrobe- How cool! :)

I'm also busy researching fashion imagery for homework: I need to find looks inspired by historical dress from various periods.




{found via foto_decadent}

Fun. But distracting...

Regards,
Freddie

Back in Black

Less words today. Don't know what to say. But the weather was beautiful and my black skinny jeans fit again so these were both exciting things. Rainy weekend ahead though. Alas.


{target tank top and belt, uniqlo skinny jeans, h&m sweater, braided scarf made by me,
other scarf from urban, vintage doc martins}

"Do you ever have the feeling, when you wake up in the morning, that you're in love but you don't know with what? It's the feeling that you want to love strangers, that you want to kiss the man at the post office, or the woman at the dry cleaners---you want to wrap your arms around life, life itself, but you can't, and this feeling wells up in you, and there is nowhere to put this great happiness---and you're floating---and then you fall down and become unbearably sad. And you have to go lie down on the couch."
--Melancholy Play, Sarah Ruhl

A Grocery Store Musical:


Thanks to all for the congrats on London- I can't wait!

Regards,
Freddie

In case you were worried

Just in case anyone was worried, it took me the week to fall in love with New York City all over again. (Though I still can't abide by people walking too slowly in front of me. Not that I ever could.) Of course, my audition is tomorrow and then it's back to Ithaca and the daily grind. I'll see you when I see you but I do hope it is sooner rather than later.


{racked, plateoftheday}


{roboppy, benjaminsiegel}


{wholu, roboppy}


{manhattan street project, nytimes}


{manhattan street project}


{jpellgen, revengingangel}

Regards,
Freddie

P.S. I adore this blog I just found.